Dead Weight
by Cylent Dragon
Summary: Aragorn thinks over Gandalfs fall in Moria and his own part. Legolas struggles to help him cope with these feelings while struggling with thoughts of his own. No intended slash.
1. Default Chapter

Dead Weight  
  
Aragorn remembered soot and the flames, the heat emanating from the leviathan's body. The curving horns, dripping fangs and shadowy wings. Waves of heat shimmered in the air. The hot, acrid air that carried a sickening smell. He remembered his strong voice "Lead them on Aragorn. The bridge is near." He had hesitated, sensing something behind Gandalf's words. "Do as I say! Swords are of no more use here." The wizard had reprimanded him.  
  
He saw the seemingly frail old man stand before shadow and flame and cry in a voice like thunder, "You cannot pass! I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun. Go back to the shadow! You Shall Not Pass!"  
  
He saw the creature tumble off in a blaze, saw the whip snap as it fell. He remembered the relief that had flooded over his body. He would wait and greet his old friend when he caught up with them. And then in that sickening instant, he saw the fiery whip snap back up and curl around the gray cloak and pull him down. Aragorn was frozen in that instant. He couldn't move, couldn't believe that this was happening. The wizard scrabbled at the edge of the bridge, struggling for a handhold. And he saw, with a sinking feeling in his gut, the gray old friend strain in a last effort, whisper his last words, and let go, falling into the abyss.  
  
Boromir had grabbed a hold of Frodo, and he vaguely heard the young hobbit scream before Boromir yelled at Aragorn himself. He turned and started after his companions, heart numb. The Orc snipers were shooting again, but the arrows seemed to come slowly, in an unreal leisure. He stared at the place were the wizard had been, just moments before.  
  
Aragorn vaguely remembered telling them to go on, for Legolas to get them up. He heard Boromir's plea for a moment. He heard his own apathetic reply, his commands for them to get up once more. He had grabbed Sam, mostly because he was nearest, and jerked him to his feet. Then he had called for Frodo. The young hobbit had turned around, a blank look on his face; two tears rolling down in cheeks. He saw a face of shock and grief and emotional drainage so profound shown there. He saw a reflection of his own heart.  
  
* * *  
  
"It's not your fault you know." The Elvish voice, soft as it was, shattered the silence. Aragorn looked up from his blade which he had been polishing. Legolas looked down at him, eyes moving over Aragorn's face, searching his soul it seemed.  
  
"I know." He muttered. He struggled to hold the Elf's gaze. "I know." He repeated, just to reassure himself. But it was, he knew. If he had just run forward, grabbed his hands, kept him from falling. He could have prevented it.but he hadn't. And he was now the leader. He couldn't express his grief in front of the others. They needed him to be strong. Especially the hobbits. They would break down entirely if he did.  
  
Legolas slid gently to the ground beside him, one hand resting lightly on his shoulder. They sat there for some time in silence, the sounds of the others breathing peacefully in sleep around them, punctuated by the occasional loud snores of Gimli. After what seemed like an eternity Legolas moved one hand and cupped it around Aragorn's chin. He started in surprise, but did not resist as the Elf twisted his head around to face him. The Elf's smooth hand suddenly made Aragorn very conscience of the scraggly state of his beard. Legolas' clear blue eyes seemed to have magnets in them, drawing his own to lock in their gaze. He noticed that the outline of Legolas' face was blurring and everything seemed to waver.  
  
Legolas moved suddenly, holding Aragorn's head and pressing it tightly to his chest. Aragorn grasped his friend's torso and clung to his shirt. He noticed that it was becoming wet beneath him and his lips were damp and tasted of salt. Aragorn just closed his eyes tightly and clung for all he was worth.  
  
Legolas held his neck tighter, his fingers intertwined with his dirty, unkempt hair. The elf gracefully bowed his own head over that of his friends, nose actually welcoming his scent. He held Aragorn's body as the man struggled with silent crying. Crying that no one else could ever know about. His own eyes were open, but his heart shared the same grief as his companion. If he were human, he might have cried as well. But he wasn't, so he would deal with the grief without physical release.  
  
Aragorn also had to keep these emotions pent up. He had to keep them moving, had to get them to their goal, or face the destruction of Middle Earth. But somehow, that didn't seem all that bad.  
  
Gandalf had been a leader to them, but something more as well. He was like a parent, and they thought of him like a small child. That as long as he was present, nothing could really harm them. But now he was gone. Their grandfather, their friend, mentor, guide, leader, he was gone. Most had known him only a short time. Frodo knew him through Bilbo, and this death was laying on him heavily. But, Legolas conceded, the young hobbit was bearing up very well against the emotional challenges of this quest. The other hobbits just knew him for his fireworks and stories. Boromir and Gimli had met him only recently, but the old man had wormed his way deep into their hearts as well. Legolas knew him by his frequent trips to Mirkwood while searching for Gollum. But Aragorn, Aragorn had known the gray wizard for a long time. Gandalf was one of the few people who knew who he was. Gandalf had always been there, but now he was gone.  
  
Without him, who was to protect them? Who to guide them? It seemed that with him gone, they were all lost, and if these seven were gone, was this world really worth protecting? What if Aragorn was to die? What would Legolas, what would any of them, do then? He held the dirty ranger's head tighter, as if he could protect the Dunadan from future dangers.  
  
And at the same moment, Legolas felt a profound wave of shame wash over him as he realized that part of him wanted Aragorn to live only so he wouldn't have to take over. Not for Aragorn, his friend, or for the fate of Middle Earth even. A part of him, small as it was, only wanted him to live for his own selfishness. These thought almost drew tears ripping from his eyes and he hated that part of him. He hated that part and let the part that truly cared for the Ranger take over his consciences.  
  
Aragorn spent his time looking after the fellowship; he gave his all and hid from them what they must not be allowed to see. But Legolas saw. And no one else did. They didn't see the ranger ignore his own heart and feelings and comforts for them. So they let Aragorn watch over them, but no one watched over Aragorn. I'll watch over you. Legolas thought. I'll look after you. When your burden's too heavy, I'll pick it up and lift it's weight from your shoulders. Leave your sorrow with the elves, with me. I will take it up for you and let you find rest. Your life is too short anyway.  
  
Legolas forced down his own emotional turmoil and forced comforting words out, words for both him and Aragorn.  
  
"This is a place of security, Aragorn, peace. Yet it seems that you do not find it here, though its borders are well protected. I know that it is a fading place, that it is in its autumn and will soon pass to winter, but it is a place to leave things behind. Let them fade with this place, not fester in your heart." He spoke softly, in barely a whisper but Aragorn could feel the elf's soft breath tickle his ear.  
  
Aragorn turned his head slightly to the side and whispered back in his gruff voice, thick more so than usual by emotion, "I said almost the same thing to Boromir."  
  
"I know, but you needed to hear it for yourself."  
  
Aragorn lifted his head up to look into the elf's steady eyes. He had known all this time what Aragorn was going through. Now that he thought about it, Legolas had even spoken when he could not in front of Galadriel. The now composed Ranger looked resignedly at the elf before him. "At times.I cannot help but wonder why people have to die."  
  
The elf smiled gently at him. " I am the least prepared to answer that. I do not understand death. This is one of the first experiences I've had with it. Perhaps Elrond or Celeborn could answer you, but I am as puzzled as you. But life goes on past death, you know. Gandalf is dead, but you still live, and every life is hope."  
  
Aragorn said nothing; he just looked at the ground. Legolas leaned over and hugged him once more, this time his head resting on Aragorn's shoulder. Silence filled the glen of Lothlorien as they sat there. "Aragorn," Legolas said, sitting back up. "Did you hear what Boromir said to Frodo?"  
  
Aragorn looked up at him, questioning.  
  
"'You carry a heavy burden, don't carry the weight of the Dead.' You, Aragorn, carry Frodo. Do not carry the weight of the dead either." The fair elf stood and smiled back down. "You should get some sleep. We'll need to leave soon. This time was ours, but the fellowship will soon awake, and sleep will remove all traces of our release. Get some sleep. Do not worry, just sleep. Everything will be all right. I'll watch over you."  
  
I'll carry that weight for you.  
  
A.N. I was looking for a good angst fic with Aragorn and Legolas, not necessarily slash, but with those characters and I couldn't find one so I decided to write one.///^ it isn't necessarily slash because I feel that Tolkien had his male characters have very intimate relationships with each other, but they also ended up getting married to women. I am a stickler for staying true to the book, and I know this borders it a bit, but bear with me. Take it as mild poetic license. You could do a lot worse. I do love the movie but I like to focus on some of the stuff that the movie left out. Aragorn, for instance, knew Gandalf very well but I don't think the movie shows that very much, so you don't understand how Aragorn might have felt on the inside. Also, I believe Legolas knew Aragorn better than all the others of the Fellowship and don't think movie focused on that too much either. So, in staying true to the original characters of J.R.R. Tolkien's work, I believe it's just a deep friendship, however, if you want to look at it as slash, it is a very nice, mild piece that focuses more on emotions than actions. Anyway I hope you either have or will enjoy it and I leave it up to your own in interpretation. I personally think of it as a really sweet friendship and nothing more. 


	2. Author's Note

Author's Note: I was looking for a good angst fic with Aragorn and Legolas, not   
  
necissarily slash, but with those characters and i couldn't find one so i decided to write  
  
one.///^ it isn't necissariy slash because i feel that tolkien had his male characters have   
  
very intamate relationships with each other, but they also ended up getting married to women.  
  
I am a stickly for staying true to the book, and yes, i do love the movie but i like to focus  
  
on some of the stuff that the movie left out. Aragorn, for instance, knew Gandalf very well  
  
but i don't think the movie shows that very much, so you don't understand how Aragorn   
  
might have felt on the inside. Also, legolas knew Aragorn better than all the others of  
  
the Fellowship and the movie didn't focus on that to much either. So, in stiaying true   
  
to the original characters of J.R.R. Tolkien's work, i believe it's just a deep friendship,  
  
however, if you want to look at it as slash, it is a very nice, mild peice that focuses more  
  
on emotions than actions. Anyway i hope you either have or will enjoy it and i leave it up   
  
to your own in interpretation. I personally think of it as a really sweet friendship and  
  
nothing more. 


End file.
